The Ghost of Christmas

I am sitting on my sofa in my living room, a cat to my shoulder, a dog beside me listening to Strange Overtones, drinking a mug o'coffee, thinking about the Norwegian Meatballs I'm getting ready to make.

Darla right now

I'm all alone right now, and I am not sad.  In fact, I'm enjoying my solitude on this Christmas morning.

I wake up every morning a new person and by night I am a different person than I was when I awoke.


And Lo! It's Christmas...again!  I'm so fucking introspective these days(and I have taken to using four letter words like they are going out of style) I cannot help but wonder at life.  My life, how it isn't good but it isn't bad either.
How in a few short months it will change yet again.
I have never wanted much in terms of material wealth.  I've only every hoped to enjoy life, be happy, love my family and help other people. I am so blessed in my life.

Happiness is a chunk of dried pineapple...

Bea and Crosby someday

Look! all the lonely people, the suffering, the unloved...they are what this Christmas shit is truly about.

Presents, things, stuff, all of that is just pointless...fun, but pointless.

Christmas=Christ Mass.  Jesus Christ who was born and came here to die for the lonely, suffering and unloved. To give them hope of an eternal life not full of the sadness of this world...something to look forward too.

So this is not where I wanted to go with this whole post!  But hey sometimes you have to fall down the rabbit hole, no??

Kate always made Julekake, krim kake  and many other cookies.  I haven't done any baking this season, which is not usual for me.

My Grandma has this trivet on her hutch, two little 'Wegian kids with
their julekake.  I imagine this will be Bea and Crosby someday.

Yesterday, I got to witness four generations meeting for the first time.  

Granddad, my Dad, my brother, and my little niece Beatrix.

I loved hearing my Granddad tell her how gorgeous she looked, all dressed up.  He has Alzheimer's and won't remember meeting her, or the fact that he even has a Great-Granddaughter...but I will remember.

These mornings the past week, I wake up and Beatrix is beside me in bed, sometimes snoring, sleeping peacefully dreaming of a full life ahead of her.  I'm moved to tears at times. As the bed we're in was my Mother's.  My Mother--a grandmother who never had the chance to meet my two newest best loves of my life.

I look at these two new people and know how much they are loved, and pray that they will never know intense sorrow.  Know that if I could protect them from all evil and sadness I would.

So Merry Christmas my loves!!

May all your wishes and dreams come true!