THIS blog is brought to you by RED WINE and VODKA...and caffeine.
Not good, but not terrible considering I do absolutely nothing to advertise it.
So people are out there in the world reading what I've got to say. I picture y'all on your Phablets or iPads...clicking at the drivel.
But honestly, c'mon most of you read those awful Buzzfeed "articles" which I'm beginning to think are written by about twenty monkeys in a room somewhere with a massive server, hunkered down with trucks of bananas in some over-priced Brooklyn hovel.
I'm a writer. Or at least that seems to be my chosen hobby. I write stuff.
Now, there are some really great things out there being written and posted by people, but there are also some self-serving blogs du jour. I don't read them--on purpose.
But what really matters in this life ya know? Importance in the grind, the running on the wheel, the great surrender to all things blah.
We are all supposed to grow up someday, right?
What if we chose not to grow up? What if I choose to continue to think with the openness of my young brain(well maybe younger than it is now). Well, I believe the world would be a better place.
I'm not an overtly social being. I don't claim to have mucho acquaintances. But the people I choose to be a part of my life, while not many are the people that I would do anything for, go anywhere with and ultimately love the most.
Most of us have experienced failed relationships. Romantic, friendships, co-workers...etc.
I used to focus a bunch on my own failings. WHAT WENT WRONG??? I would plague my thoughts with that question.
Now, I've decided to think, what went right? Let me 'splain.
Every end of something, relation-wise has made me examine my own sense of self, who I am, what I want in these short years. After this last ending, I know what went wrong, but I started thinking about what I did that was right, what felt good vs what felt bad. Because the next guy I meet, I want to recognize that good stuff. I'm on the lookout for those good thoughts/feelings.
I am NOT religious...anymore. In fact, I sincerely believe that religion is what has put a wedge between people and God. But, in the my religious upbringing we were taught about how wrong we were. How we fell so short of holiness, goodness and how nothing in us was good except for God.
The years it has taken me to overcome such early indoctrination of my own worthlessness has been many that's for sure. The thing is, the kindest most accepting and honest friends I know and love are not the types I was raised with. They best friends I have, don't have anything to prove. And trust me they vary in religion and belief. And THANK God, that they don't all think the same.
Just like when I realized that I was basically dating the same guy over and over again, at one point I realized my friends were the same. They thought the same as me, wanted the same things, had the same goals...same political beliefs.
and look those are all natural good attributes in friendship, but when you surround yourself with people of the same ilk. (and you know how you define yourself) then you are limiting so much in yourself.
If I only spent time with white, middleclass, christian females...what the heck? My life would be so dismal and boring!!
Think outside the box. Challenge yourself a bit. Travel somewhere unknown. Grow your brain. Be open.
Here's a story for ya.
When I was 13, I met some folks and we started to talk about music. Now, these kids were a few years older than me, boys(who I thought were cute) and two girls my age. I knew nothing about popular music. I'd spent the past couple months listening to as much Bob Marley I could get my hands on. And I didn't talk about it, I didn't know anyone else who liked Bob Marley except my parents. Plus I was afraid people would think I was a pot head.
So there we were sitting round a campfire...and when they asked me what music I liked this was my reply,
-Oh, well...I guess I like Celine Dion.
Okay, I was so afraid that they wouldn't know who Bob Marley was, or that they would laugh at me for being a total nerd with pink glasses and frizzy hair that I lied. Yup. I lied 100%. I lied because I thought one of the guys was cute and I wanted to appear feminine. It was the type of thing the other girls were saying and I didn't want to appear strange. And since he kissed me, maybe it worked who the heck knows?
Sometimes, I wish that I could go back to that night and say, how much I love reggae. He probably would've thought I was super odd. I mean this was the early nineties. It was many years before I openly talked about my reggae obsession. (Check out this reggae roots 80 min of music!) And if it's your thing burn up da herbs.
So what the hell am I getting at?? I was embarrassed that I didn't fit in to my own demographic. 13 year old girl listening to Celine and whatever boy band du jour was around. I learned to never lie about myself. Sheesh, this was 21 years ago and I still feel bad about it. But life is for learning no?
Here's my challenge: Are you demographically closed? Are all your friends clones? Do you think outside your philosophical box...ever? Try. Just try to do it.
Anyhoo those are my thoughts for today...
No comments:
Post a Comment